Survivor: Nae'blis
by Ba'alzamon
Summary: Ok before you read this, know right away that it's a funny parody of the Forsaken. Basically it's about the Forsaken doing a survivor type game to decide who will become Nae'blis. I spent alot of time on this and I really think it's funny. Chap. 4 up!
1. Chapter 1

**Survivor: Nae'blis**

(Shaidar Haran is seen standing near the Bore as all the Forsaken walk in single file and stand in line)

Shai'tan: WELCOME CHOSEN, THE TIME HAS COME TO SEE WHO SHALL BE NAE'BLIS.

(All the Forsaken visibly brighten and stand up straight)

Shai'tan: IT IS NOT BY MY CHOOSING THAT NAE'BLIS SHALL BE NAMED, YOU WILL BATTLE AMONGST YOURSELVES FOR THIS PRESTIGEOUS TITLE IN A GAME OF SKILL AND WITS. YOU WILL ALL BE PLACED ON A REMOTE ISLAND IN AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND USE STRATEGY TO MAKE IT TO THE END. SHAIDAR HARAN SHALL BE YOUR GUIDE AND CONTROLLER OF THE EVENTS THAT TAKE PLACE. TO OBEY SHAIDAR HARAN IS TO OBEY ME, TO DISOBEY SHAIDAR HARAN…

(All the Forsaken assure Shai'tan that there will be no problems)

Shai'tan: GOOD, THEN YOU SHALL BEGIN IMMEDIATELY. REMEMBER, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE NAE'BLIS…

(Shaidar Haran leads the Forsaken to a circle and they stand inside. Blinding light flashes and they all disappear. They arrive on an island strangely familiar to them)

Be'lal: Wait a tick, isn't this that place we saw on T.V. last night…?

Mesaana: IT WAS! I'm sure of it, but where are the castaways…

(All the Forsaken glance 10 feet away at a bunch of men and women huddled in a camp site staring at them with eyes wide with fear.)

Demandred: Don't tell me we have to share the island with them…

Shaidar Haran: Silence fools, they will be removed shortly.

(Shaidar Haran walks over to the campsite slowly and begins gesturing towards the ocean. After a minute of talking, Shaidar Haran stopped gesturing and waited. All the people pointed and laughed at him. With a shriek, Shaidar Haran unsheathed his sword and began wailing on a fat guy. The others got up and began running into the jungle)

Shaidar Haran: Set up camp and I'll be right back, I must… clean up these filths first.

(Shaidar Haran raises his sword high and charges into the jungle after the others)

Lanfear: Well we better set up camp.

Ishamael: FOOLS! I AM BA'ALZAMON! I AM THE DARK ONE! I AM MY OWN NAE'BLIS!

(Ishamael runs off down the beach and flops in the water shrieking about Shai'tan and swims over the horizon)

Be'lal: So… camp anyone?

Rahvin: Yes, I shall make us a fire…

Lanfear: Rahvin, since when are you an outdoor-man?

Rahvin: Never have been, but all we need is a single weave of fire and…

(Rahvin points his finger at some logs and nothing happens. He turns pale white and gasps)

Rahvin: OMG! I CAN'T CHANNEL! OMFG! SOMEBODY HAXORZ! I HAVE BEEN GENTLED! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Rahvin begins thrashing around in the sand REEing)

Mesaana: Calm down you spine, clearly we ALL cannot channel; it must be to make this "game" more challenging. Hmm, this is quite interesting, it reminds me of an extremely long story where… (Mesaana loses herself in mindless rabble)

Sammael: Illian is MINE!

Demandred: Who cares about Illian, the Black Tower's where it's at!

Lanfear: All of you silence!

(The command in Lanfear's voice quelled all arguing… for the moment)

Demandred: I suppose we could make a fire the old fashioned way…

Be'lal: But… but… we've used the One Power for so long. I'm not quite sure what to do… maybe if I had Callandor…

Aginor: Be'lal, you do NOT have Callandor, deal with it!

Be'lal: Oh go create some Trollocs or something you old fool.

(Rahvin stops thrashing around and stands up)

Rahvin: Oh, get a woman both of you, _live_ a little!

Aginor and Be'lal: WE'RE IMMORTAL YOU IDIOT!

Moghedien: I am the spider!

(Moghedien begins climbing a tree and disappears in the leaves)

Sammael: Illian shall be MINE!

Graendal: Rahvin, you never had a woman without compulsion!

Rahvin: Cuz ya know, you clearly don't SPAM compulsion on everyone and everything!

(Rahvin and Graendal begin wrestling in the sand, Aginor and Be'lal are having a huge verbal fight, Sammael is running around claiming rights to Illian while the others watch and bet on winners… all except Balthamel and Asmodean. Asmodean sits calmly by a tree, bobbing his head to the music coming from his C'D pla'yer, seemingly unaware of anything. Balthamel sighs and squats by the fire site with 2 rocks. He begins tapping them together and making sparks. Suddenly the logs catch a spark and light up in flame. When they see this, the other Forsaken stop what they're doing and look at it, then look at Balthamel. Balthamel shrugs and lies down. All the other Forsaken gather around the fire and it turns to night)

Aginor: Ok, ok, Rahvin, truth or dare?

Rahvin: Dare all the way.

Aginor: I dare you to join the Queens Guard in Caemlyn, get ranked up to captain of the Queens Guard, quell some riots, get promoted to advisor to the Queen, then have her send allies out of the city and steal the throne for yourself, thus making yourself King of Caemlyn…

Rahvin: Eh, why not? Sure, after I'm named Nae'blis of course. Alright my turn, Balthamel, truth or dare?

Balthamel: …

(All stare at Balthamel and remember that he can't speak. Balthamel writes dare in the sand with one finger)

Rahvin: Ok Balthamel, I dare you to do a dance!

(Other Forsaken watch expectantly. Balthamel stands up slowly and brushes sand from his cloak. Some of the Forsaken snicker and stifle laughter. Balthamel just stands there)

Rahvin: Balthamel, you're supposed to…

(Balthamel starts break-dancing in the sand. Techno music starts playing from no where and all the Forsaken stare wide eyed as Balthamel rips out seemingly impossible moves. After about 2 minutes, Balthamel sits back down calmly)

Demandred: Well then… how the hell did you do that?

(Balthamel shrugs and points to Demandred. He writes "T or D?" in the sand)

Demandred: Dare.

(Balthamel writes "I dare you to pretend to be Mazrim Taim")

Demandred: Ha, no problem. I practically AM him. We look the same, we both hate and try to kill Lews Therin, so clearly that should be no problem. But that's after I'm named Nae'blis of course…

Lanfear: What? Lews Therin? Where?

Demandred: All I said was that I hate Lews Therin, calm down there miss "Oooo he still loves me, I'm so spine-worthy."

(Lanfear proceeds to tackle Demandred away from the fire)

Semirhage: Demandred seems to be busy at the moment, so I'll go. Asmodean, truth or dare?

(Asmodean is staring into the night still with his C'D pla'yer blasting "Immortal" by Adema)

Semirhage: Asmodean? Oh, give me that stick Be'lal.

(Be'lal clutches a half-carved stick shaped like a sword to his chest)

Be'lal: But… but it's my Callandor! I feel stronger already!

Semirhage: Give it here spine, you're gonna hurt yourself.

(Semirhage snatches "Callandor" away from a still protesting Be'lal and chucks it at Asmodean)

Asmodean: Oww… what do you want?

Semirhage: Truth or dare?

Asmodean: No, I'm not playing, you can't make me.

Semirhage: If you don't answer, I'll rip out every organ in your body and then every bone, then I'll thrash your lifeless corpse against the wall and feed it to the sharks.

Asmodean: … so?

Semirhage: And then I'll break your harp.

Asmodean: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Asmodean's shriek was heard all through the island, and all the creatures fled from that shriek that tore through the night sky)

Semirhage: Well? Answer!

(Asmodean's eyes are watery and he sobbed while stroking his harp)

Asmodean: You… are a CRUEL… EVIL… LADY! I'll answer your question and play your evil game! TRUTH! I SAY TRUTH! BRING YOUR LIGHTNING AND I SHALL DANCE WITH IT! ASK-

Semirhage: Are you loyal to the Great Lord?

(Asmodean stops mid-rant with wide eyes)

Asmodean: Loyal… why of course I'm loyal to the Dark O… err, I mean the Great Lord…

(All the Forsaken except Asmodean glance at a tree)

All Forsaken: Sp…

Asmodean: What? Wtf is Sp?

All Forsaken: Sp… Sp… SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDER!

(Moghedien leaps from the tree and bites Asmodean's neck. She thrashes around and crawls off into the jungle with him)

Mesaana: Let's place teacher!

Rahvin: Lets go with NO you obsessive freak!

Mesaana: You're an obsessive narcissist! You and Graendal both!

Granedal: Hey come on now, did I say anything to you? Why you gotta be like that?

(Be'lal runs over to his wooden Callandor and begins carving it again)

Sammael: Illian is MINE!

Aginor: OK, ALRIGHT! SHUT UP ALL!

(All stop talking and look at Aginor. Demandred and Lanfear return to the campsite and sit with the others)

Aginor: Ok, I have an idea, we could…

Demandred: If this involves Trollocs or experiments, I'm outta here…

Rahvin: Yea, you and your Trollocs Aginor… it's not right.

Be'lal: You're sick dude.

Aginor: For the love of the GREAT LORD! This doesn't involve Trollocs!

(Gateway opens up and Van Kooy steps out, the _saa_ is seen blazing across his eyes)

Van Kooy: Oh my god…

(Van Kooy steps back into the gateway which winks out)

Demandred: Anyone else see the _saa_ in that guy's eyes?

Lanfear: Let's not talk about this.

Mesaana: Story time! Story time!

(5 minutes later… Asmodean is back somehow)

Mesaana: And then… he opened the door with a slow creak…

(All other Forsaken lean forward intently with wide eyes)

Mesaana: …he looked into the darkness and he heard footsteps, crunching on broken glass… coming towards him… when suddenly…

(Lightning flashes, revealing a tall cloaked figure standing behind Mesaana)

All Forsaken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Shaidar Haran: BOO!

(Asmodean faints)

Be'lal: Wow you scream like a girl, Rahvin.

Rahvin: Well did you see yourself? You threw your precious "Callandor" uber far away in fear!

Be'lal: Callandor? NOOOO! I NEED IT! (sobs)

Shaidar Haran: Silence all of you! Tomorrow begins your real challenge. Now sleep!

(Shaidar Haran disappears in a shadow and all the Forsaken fall asleep)

Sammael: Illian is mine!

(Someone clubs Sammael unconscious and they all sleep. The next morning the Forsaken awake to Rahvin yelping)

Rahvin: Ow! Geez that was uncalled for!

Lanfear: THAT, is for touching me there…

Rahvin: Soooooorry! My hand wanders when I sleep.

Lanfear: You were NOT sleeping, believe me.

Rahvin: Oh how would you know?

Lanfear: The light that symbolizes your dream in Tel'aran'rhiod was not there all last night, and for some reason neither was Moghedien's… I wonder where she is anyway?

Sammael: ILLIAN IS-

Semirhage: (low threatening tone) Sammael, if you ever make that STUPID claim over Illian again, I am going to make you WISH you were severed and thrown to 600 myrddraal instead of what I'll do to you...

Sammael: … Ill-

Semirhage: Sammael!

(Sammael sits quietly mumbling to himself about Illian)

Shaidar Haran: It is time to…

Demandred: AH! S.H. man, you gotta stop appearing like that.

Shaidar Haran: (cough) It is TIME to…

Demandred: AH… oh wait, you already scared me, go on…

(Shaidar Haran stares blankly (yes I know he has no eyes!) at Demandred a moment. Suddenly, Demandred is consumed in a black fire with the fire binding his hands and feet together. He had enough time for half a scream before the fires flared wildly then dissipated with no sign of Demandred)

Shaidar Haran: (nods) Much better.

Semirhage: Where did you send him?

Shaidar Haran: I sent him to the scariest, most agonizingly lonely place in all existence…

Semirhage: (eyes widen) You don't mean…

(Demandred appears in Tom Kaminsky's room)

Demandred: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Back on the island. All the Forsaken shudder visibly, even Semirhage)

Semirhage: Not even Lews Therin deserves that.

Lanfear: Therin? LEWS Therin? Where?

(All other Forsaken sigh)

Shaidar Haran: Silence all of you! Follow me.

Rahvin: Do you ALWAYS have to start statements addressing us with "Silence!"?

Shaidar Haran: Silence! That is-

(Shaidar Haran realizes what he just said and his face grows dark. His voice takes on an uber low malicious tone)

Shaidar Haran: Would you like to join Demandred in Tom's room Rahvin?

(Rahvin's eyes widen to the point of almost falling out of his head and he slinks back to hide behind Asmodean)

Shaidar Haran: Come.

(Black flash of darkness appears, followed by a black split in space that opens up to a dark gateway)

Asmodean: We have to go through that? No way, not me. You will never see me on the other side of THAT!

(5 minutes later)

Asmodean: I can't believe you threw me through the gateway, where are your manners now-a-days?

Shaidar Haran: This is my dimension. In here, reality is as I say it is. You will take your challenge here.

(A podium appears and across from it are 13 pegs in the darkness resembling seats)

Shaidar Haran: Be seated. Ishamael and Moghedien seem to be missing so they miss out. Demandred is… busy as well. Therefore the 10 of you shall take this challenge. The winnder shall get immunity. This means they cannot be voted out at the Council of Fate.

(Each Forsaken suddenly is holding a dry erase marker board, an eraser, and a marker of a different color. Asmodean's marker is pink for anyone that cares)

Shaidar Haran: In this challenge I will ask you all the same question and who ever gives the best answer will win immunity, it's simple. Question one: If you had Lews Therin safely shielded, what would you do? This is an easy answer, there's no way you can mess this up…

(The Forsaken lean over their boards and write for 30 seconds then turn their Boards down)

Shaidar Haran: Now lets see how you all managed to mess this up… ok, now reveal your answers.

(Rahvin and Be'lal have "Balefire him", Mesaana wrote "Teach him the glories of the Great Lord", Balthamel put "Take his tongue", Asmodean put 2 answers, but one of the answers was scribbled out, although the words 'Teach' and 'channel' were slightly visible. His second response was "Kill him of course (looks left, looks right)." Semirhage put an amazingly long paragraph involving all sorts of torture and severing, Granedal put "Make him one of my pretties", Aginor put "Crossbreed him with a Trolloc", that earned a quizzical look from Shaidar Haran and sick looks from the others. Sammael put "Illian is mine", and Lanfear put quite a dirty description of the 'things' she'd do to/with him, one of which involved a whip)

Shaidar Haran: Well, Mesaana's response is closest to the Great Lord's plans… so Mesaana wins immunity.

Mesaana: Woohoo! I'm so happy, I could read!

(Mesaana pulls a book out of no where and begins reading)

Sammael: But… but Illian?

Shaidar Haran: No, I'm sorry Sammael, no Illian this time.

(Sammael's eyes well up with tears and he looks away sniffling)

Shaidar Haran: Well then, it is time for the Council of Fate.

(A table with a jar, ink, paper, and a quill-pen appear)

Shaidar Haran: Vote for the one amongst you who you would like to be removed from the game. The one with the most votes will be cast from the island immediately. We will vote in alphabetical order, so Aginor begin. Oh and one more thing, this is ca'mera guy Bob, he holds the ca'mera by the voting and looks cool. You can say hi to him if you want.

(Bob waves and turns on the ca'mera)

Shaidar Haran: NOW BEGIN!

(Survivor voting music plays as Aginor walks up to the voting table. It takes about 10 minutes for all the Forsaken to finish voting, then Shaidar Haran walks up and brings the jar down)

Shaidar Haran: I'll tally the votes. The first vote goes for… "I wish I had Callandor"… seeing as that's no ones name, it doesn't count. The next vote is "Lews Therin". He is ALSO not here so this vote is not counting either. The third vote is… "Illian is mine", Ok I DON'T think you all quite understand the PURPOSE of voting! It's to eliminate the competitors for the title of Nae'blis! Now I better see a name of someone in this room or this is over. Now lets see, the fourth vote is for… "Shaidar Haran". Ok that is NOT funny!

(Asmodean snickers in the back)

Shaidar Haran: 5th is Graendal. FINALLY! Someone who is not me that's in this room. 6th is for… "I wish I could talk"… (sigh) 7th is for… "Bob".

(Tears well up in Bob's eyes and he starts whimpering)

Shaidar Haran: Oh look what you've done now! It's ok Bob, they have no souls, and they're just jealous of you.

(Bob wipes his tears and smiles)

Shaidar Haran: That's better. 8th is… "Can we have a library?" (glares at Mesaana) 9th is "Where's my mirror?", and 10th is "Boobookittyfuc"… Well that settles it, since Graendal is the only one who was voted against, she loses. How's it feel to know you were betrayed by SOMEONE in this room?

Graendal: I'm the one who voted for me, all of this is not worth being Nae'blis. And I don't think I'll ever go anywhere near Illian ever again…

(Sammael's ears perk up and he looks around)

Shaidar Haran: In any case, it's time for you to go.

Graendal: …Go where?

Shaidar Haran: Just… go…

(Graendal shrugs and walks off into the darkness)

Shaidar Haran: As for the rest of you… BACK TO CAMP! (Shrieks and shakes fist)

(The darkness envelopes all the remaining Forsaken and the next thing they know, they're back at camp)

That's all I have written for now folks, depending on reviews I may continue writing. I hope you enjoyed this comedic take on the Forsaken.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews guys; I figured I'd get started on chapter 2 immediately so I did. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always, reviews are always appreciated!

**Previously on Survivor: Nae'blis**

The Forsaken arrived on an island, Shaidar Haran killed the castaways already there, the Forsaken do some funny stuff and fight, Asmodean has a pink marker, and Graendal voted herself out. This chapter begins immediately after they are transported from Shaidar Haran's dimension…

**Survivor: Nae'blis - Chapter 2**

Be'lal: There's a whole day ahead of us, any suggestions as to what to do?

Mesaana: Let's play a game where we each take turns imitating someone else, and we have to guess who they're imitating!

Aginor: Sure why not.

Semirhage: Your childish games bore me. I'm going to go search around the island a bit.

(Semirhage walks off into the jungle)

Lanfear: Who's first?

(All Forsaken scream "Not it" at same time except for Balthamel. He just glares at them then nods reluctantly. Balthamel pulls out a mirror and holds it up with one hand, while stroking his hair with the other)

Rahvin: Haha that's a good one, who's that?

(Balthamel just shakes his head)

Be'lal: It's you, you vain bastard

Rahvin: What? I do not look-

(Pulls out a mirror and checks his hair real quick, then puts mirror away)

Rahvin: -in the mirror all the time!

(Other Forsaken sigh)

Aginor: Ok Ok, my turn. "Ooooo look at me! I love 'The Sword That Isn't A Sword', watch me carve one in wood and pretend I'm cool! I so won't get balefired later by a pompous Aes Sedai that holds back information from EVERYONE!

Be'lal: Hey now that was uncalled for!

Lanfear: Haha that was perfect Aginor! You really captured the crazed obsessiveness of him, while simultaneously ruining the end of the third book for everyone.

Be'lal: Oh yea? Well how bout this. "I LOVE Trollocs! I just love to crossbreed random things to see what kind of freak of nature I can create, this way I won't be lonely when I realize everyone hates me. If I ever died and got reincarnated, I would never possibly put myself in a position where I get killed AGAIN!

Aginor: Oh that was brilliant Be'lal, you must have thought long on that one. It's always "Trolloc this, Trolloc that"! I DID create other shadowspawn too you spine! You're just insecure because I'm so much stronger than you in the One Power and you'd need your precious Callandor to beat me!

Be'lal: Bring it on old man! BRING IT ON!

(Be'lal tackles Aginor down the beach)

Mesaana: My turn! My turn! "Lews Therin loves me! Don't worry, he won't 'cheat' on me with 3 women. We'll both take the Choden Kal and challenge the Creator. 'We can challenge the Creator, Lewsy, the Creator!'"

(Rahvin, Sammael, and Asmodean burst out laughing at Mesaana's imitation of Lanfear)

Lanfear: "I want to be a Teacher! Of all things! I contributed so much to the Shadow's cause. Look at me teach CHILDREN to spy on their parents and love me. I am definitely scary material hear, let me tell you, If you mess with me I might teach you how to read!"

Mesaana: You love sick bitch! Oh, I'll "teach" you alright, I'll teach you how to take my foot out of your ass!

(With one huge lunge, Mesaana tackles Lanfear off her feet and they roll down the beach clawing at each other. Rahvin drools while staring at the cat fight)

Asmodean: This game is fun! I want to go! "………….."

(Asmodean just stares ahead blankly and Balthamel glares at him. Asmodean doubles over giggling and pointing at Balthamel, who apparently does not find this poor imitation of himself funny. Asmodean slowly gets a hold of himself and stands up)

Asmodean: Haha that was great, right Balthamel? Balthamel…?

(Asmodean yelps and barely dodges a burning log from the campfire. Asmodean runs down the beach with Balthamel hot on his tail wielding a burning log. Rahvin shrugs and tackles Sammael into the sand and begins wrestling with him. The chaos that ensues is too difficult to explain in English, so I'll explain it in the Old Tongue: "_Rablava'yutso nein'sien'ich sieg'flabbin'hielow entursek sprechen bronchitac!_")

(Meanwhile in the jungle. Semirhage hears the shouts of the others and sighs)

Semirhage: Geez, what do they get themselves into when I'm not around? That's a stupid question. They always find themselves fighting; I think they're crazy half the time. Graendal was. Who votes themselves out of a chance to become Nae'blis… why am I talking to myself…?

(Semirhage trails off as she notices Moghedien dead on the ground with a wooden sword in her back)

Semirhage: Uh huh… so that's what happened…

(Semirhage takes the wooden sword out of Moghedien and turns to leave. Then she looks back at Moghedien's body and her mouth twitches in half a smile. For the next 5 minutes, Semirhage stamps on Moghedien's body relentlessly while cackling madly)

(10 minutes later, back at the campsite)

(Semirhage walks out of the jungle holding the wooden sword and looks at the chaos. Lanfear and Mesaana are down to their bras and panties with their hair completely messed up and are circling each other like sumo wrestlers. Sammael and Rahvin are sitting behind 2 sandcastles with the names "Caemlyn" and "Illian" written in their respective castles and are throwing rocks at each other. Sammael is screaming "Illian is superior!" while Rahvin screams "Caemlyn OWNS you!" Asmodean is running around squealing and barely avoiding Balthamel as he swings his burning log at him. Aginor and Be'lal are still wrestling in the sand. Aginor throws Be'lal off him and Be'lal tumbles to lay at Semirhage's feet)

Be'lal: Ow… hi Semir… CALLANDOR!

(Be'lal leaps up and snatches his wooden sword from Semirhage and holds it out towards Aginor)

Be'lal: Fool! Prepare to taste the wrath of Callandor!

(Be'lal lunges at Aginor, who just grabs the wooden stick and breaks it in half)

Be'lal: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Be'lal's scream stops all the other's fighting and Be'lal falls to his knees holding the broken 'sword' in his hands)

Be'lal: YOU MONSTER! (sob) You… you monster…

(Be'lal begins outright crying loudly and buries his face in his hands)

Semirhage: This is why we can't have nice things… yea… for anyone that cares; Be'lal killed Moghedien last night by accident when he threw his stupid sword away in terror.

Mesaana: That's so sad… Oh well, who wants to read?

Be'lal: Can't you see that we're doomed? Without Callandor there is no future! (More sobbing)

Sammael: Illian is MINE!

Be'lal: You fool! You stupid fool! Damn you and damn your Illian! (Be'lal points to Aginor and Sammael) A plague be on both your Houses! A PLAGUE!

(Be'lal gets up and runs off into the forest leaving the broken Callandor in the sand)

Aginor: Geez what's his problem? It's not like that's really Callandor.

Lanfear: Tairen High Lords get that way sometimes.

Semirhage: Bloody Tairens…

Rahvin: Hey does anyone realize that we've been here 2 days and we haven't eaten a thing? You'd think we'd get hungry.

(At that exact moment all the Forsaken's stomachs growl loudly)

Asmodean: Now that you mention it, I am starving.

Mesaana: I THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE!

(Mesaana begins eating pages from her book)

Lanfear: Hmmm we can either go find food on the island, or someone gets eaten.

Semirhage: Let's eat someone!

Rahvin: You've got to be kidding me. Can't we just like eat books like Mesaana is? I'm sure they're high in… Ca'alcium or something.

Aginor: Well in any case it can't be me; I'm too old to die.

Rahvin: I'm too handsome to die.

Lanfear: I'm too beautiful to die.

Semirhage: I'm too eager to eat someone else to die.

Mesaana: Rime Rot Rungry Ro Rit Rant Re Re

Sammael: Illian is mine!

Aginor: That's an excellent reason not die Sammael; you always do know the best answers… I think the only words other than "Illian is MINE!" that you've said during this whole time on the island were "shall", "be", and "but".

(Sammael smiles at the compliment, oblivious to its sarcasm.)

Aginor: Since I'm too old, Mesaana is feasting on a book, Lanfear's too beautiful, Rahvin's too handsome, Semirhage is too sadistic, Sammael has Illian, then it's down to either Balthamel or Asmodean. And since I think we all agree that eating Balthamel can't be good for our health… (All notice Balthamel's rotting flesh and barely human appearance even behind the black carapace) then I guess it has to be Asmodean.

Asmodean: Hey now that's not a fair way to choose. I have a reason not to die also. It's… it's… hey now gimme a second. Without me… (Thinks quickly) you won't have anyone to bitch around!

(Other Forsaken think for a moment)

Rahvin: Well at least we'll be full. I say we eat him anyway.

(All the Forsaken nod in agreement and close in on Asmodean. At that moment, a black gateway opens up and ten wine coolers fly out of it, followed by fruits of all kinds and cookies. Then Shaidar Haran steps out)

Shaidar Haran: As much as I'd love to see Asmodean eaten alive by you all, I'm afraid that goes against the rules of this game. Be'lal would be reprimanded for killing Moghedien, but that was an accident. Also I caused it indirectly by scaring you all, plus I can't find him at the moment. So eat up and don't let me find you attempting to eat each other again.

(Shaidar Haran steps back into the gateway then pauses and turns around)

Shaidar Haran: One more thing. There will be a new member to your group who will be arriving tonight. I suggest you treat him as if he were your equals even though he is not one of the Chosen. If I catch any of you attempting to hurt this man… let's just say you'll wish you were dead.

(With that, Shaidar Haran left through the gateway and it vanished)

Mesaana: A new member? Not one of the Chosen? This just isn't fair! This never happens in the books that I read! When I read books everything specifically…

(Mesaana loses herself in her speech again)

Rahvin: Hmm, I wonder who it could be. Guess we'll have to wait and see.

(All the Forsaken pause for a moment in deep thought)

Asmodean: You were really going to eat me weren't you? You sick freaks!

(The Forsaken all pig out on the food they received and lay down. While in the middle of a game of 'Screw your neighbor', a blackened fire flares 10 feet off from the fire and dissipates to reveal Demandred laying in the fetal position. All the other Forsaken quickly gather around him)

Rahvin: Dude... what happened in there?

Lanfear: Demandred dear, are you ok?

Mesaana: Did you bring back any books?

Sammael: Did you find Illian?

(All other Forsaken gasp loudly and look at Sammael)

Rahvin: Omg, you can say something other than "Illian is mine"?

Sammael: Duh, I just choose not to because my character is boring without his comedic Illian routine.

All Forsaken: Oooooooh…

Aginor: So what happened Dem? Spill it!

(Demandred keeps shaking in fear a while, then finally responds in a slow forced voice)

Demandred: It… kept… asking me… if It could be my friend… It wouldn't stop… ignoring It did no good. It has the patience of a saint, and never runs out of breath. And those eyes… those BEADY EYES! JUST BEGGING FOR FRIENDSHIP!

(Demandred begins sobbing. All the other Forsaken shudder visibly and nod. They all knew the horrors of the Tom. Tom was a rejected kid from back when they were all in high school that used to follow them around and stalk them. He never had any friends and He never went away, even if you insulted Him to His face or hit Him. He was an immortal sack of annoying filth, and all had suffered psychologically from Tom.)

Aginor: Shaidar Haran has no right to do that to you, it was completely uncalled for. NO ONE deserves to go through what you went through, Forsaken or not. How did you survive the night Dem?

Demandred: I managed to bleed my ears to the point where the blood clotted and blocked out all sound. But He was always there, watching… AGH! THE EYES! IT'S WORSE FEAR THAN A MYRDDRAAL'S GAZE!

(The Forsaken knew the dangers of facing the Tom. There was a saying in Forsaken High School: "The look of the Tom is fear." Demandred spent the rest of the day with the others telling of other horrors he encountered while there, and how he saw the many skeletons of other 'friends' who could not survive. Night rolled around quickly)

Rahvin: Well Demandred, you're ok now and as long as you watch yourself around Shaidar Haran, you'll never have to see that… thing again.

Demandred: So where's Moghedien, Be'lal, and Graendal?

Aginor: Dead, ran away, and voted self off island.

Demandred: What?

Aginor: Forget it they're gone.

(Suddenly the Forsaken became aware of footsteps coming towards them from the jungle. They all turned toward the sound and saw a small, weasel looking man with a big nose step out and look around nervously while stroking a ruby-hilted dagger)

Lanfear: And who are you?

Padan Fain: You may call me Padan Fain, and I'm joining this game of yours.

Rahvin: You don't deserve to be here! You're not one of the Chosen, you can't even channel! How can you even be allowed to participate? Leave! Leave now before the admin BANS you!

Padan Fain: Fool man, I am more deserving to be here than you all are. I'm the one who tracked down the 3 ta'veren to begin with. Without me, Robert Jordan would have no plot to begin the series.

Aginor: Robert who?

Padan Fain: Nothing. Anyway, I'm here to stay so make way for the Fain!

(Padan Fain sits down between Semirhage and Lanfear and puts his arms around them. 5 seconds later Padan Fain's face is buried in the sand and Semirhage and Lanfear both sniff at the same time.)

Rahvin: Geez, how rude. Who does that?

Lanfear and Semirhage: Men… Jinx! Double jinx! Triple jinx! Quadruple jinx! Quintuple jinx! Sextuple jinx! Septuple jinx! Octuple jinx! Nonuple Jinx! Deca jinx!

(The jinx match ends in a tie because neither Semirhage, Lanfear, nor I know what comes after Deca jinx)

Shaidar Haran: I see you've met your new member, and look, it seems you've given him the complimentary back hand already…

Demandred: AH! Cmon man you REALLY need to like, announce yourself before you appear. Maybe a "Yo, I'm about to like warp in, don't be surprised." Or maybe like just make NOISE so that we know you're coming. Is that too much to ask?

(Shaidar Haran just stares at Demandred and a malicious smile appears on his face.)

Shaidar Haran: I can send you RIGHT back you know.

(Demandred immediately falls to his knees and begins bowing in worship)

Demandred: You're the boss man, you wanna sneak up on us go RIGHT ahead! In fact, sneak up on me now! Cmon just PLEASE never send me back there again!

Shaidar Haran: That's enough bowing and praising for now Demandred, but if you annoy me again you're going RIGHT back to the Room. The One Room To End All Rooms…

Aginor: Yea man we get it.

Shaidar Haran: Get some sleep, tomorrow you have another challenge, and one more of you get voted off.

(All the Forsaken go to sleep instantly. When they awake Mesaana is no where in sight)

Lanfear: Where's Captain Book?

Rahvin: Who knows? Good riddens for all I care.

(Demandred and Sammael walk up to the group)

Demandred: We're making a "Hate Lews Therin" club. Anyone want to join?

Padan Fain: OOOOOOH! Me! Me!

(Padan Fain jumps up and runs over to Sammael and Demandred)

Demandred: Woohoo a third member! We shall soon rival the White Tower in numbers!

Padan Fain: It's never over al'Thor! Never over!

Demandred: Yes, al'Thor is Lews Therin, and so he must pay-

Padan Fain: HAHAHA! NEVER OVER AL'THOR! NEVER OVER!

Demandred: Ok, calm down there little man, you're-

Padan Fain: HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA NEVER OVER!

(Padan Fain runs down the beach cackling and waving his ruby-hilted dagger around)

Aginor: You're club suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure is great… Why would anyone join this madness?

Demandred: You're just jealous because we won't let you join.

Aginor: You never said I couldn't join. Why can't I join?

Demandred: You see? You're trying to join but I won't let you.

Aginor: Hey I can hate Lews Therin with the best of 'em, let me join!

Demandred: Eh… I dunno. Your heart just doesn't seem to be in it.

Aginor: My heart's in it! I REALLY wanna join cmon PLEASE?

Demandred: Fine you're in, I expect to see you at all our meetings.

(Demandred and Sammael walk away to try and find Padain Fain before he hurts someone. Aginor just looks at Lanfear who just stares back)

Aginor: What? He tricked me.

(Lanfear shakes her head and walks away)

(Meanwhile in the jungle. Rahvin is slowly approaching a squirrel in hopes of catching it)

Rahvin: Here squirrelly, squirrelly, squirrelly… Come to Rahvin… Gah, this would be so much easier if I could channel.

(Squirrel suddenly looks up at Rahvin, then takes off running)

Rahvin: _Tsag!_ COME BACK HERE! I WANT TO DO THINGS TO YOU!

(Rahvin chases the squirrel through the jungle and it disappears behind some bushes. Rahvin slowly creeps up on the bush that the squirrel went under. He notices its gray tail sticking out and he prepares to attack. Suddenly a man dives from the trees and tackles Rahvin to the ground. Rahvin gets up woozily and realizes that the man is Be'lal. There is a hint of madness in Be'lal's eyes and he is grinning ecstatically)

Rahvin: Be'lal, what the hell are you doing? You just lost me my… fun...

Be'lal: FUN IS A NON-EXISTANT THING WITHOUT CALLANDOR! NO FUN CAN OCCUR WITHOUT IT! NO ANYTHING CAN OCCUR! ALL IS LOST HAHA! ALL!

(It's then that Rahvin realizes the lit fuse on a case of dynamite that Be'lal is holding. It is wrapped with vials of Nitro-glycerin. Where he got it was beyond Rahvin)

Rahvin: Woah man, you might wanna put that out…

Be'lal: Hmmm maybe I would… MAYBE IF I HAD CALLANDOR I COULD!

(Rahvin looks around quickly and picks up a small branch from the ground. He snaps off all the extra twigs and leaves on it and holds it out shakily to Be'lal)

Rahvin: Uh… here is… Callandor, Be'lal. I uh… I fixed it. See? Now maybe you want to...

(Be'lal puts down the still lit dynamite case and snatches the branch from Rahvin)

Be'lal: CALLANDOR! MY PRECIOUS! YOU ARE EVEN BETTER THAN BEFORE! I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO AGAIN CALLANDOR! I…

(Rahvin begins slowly backing away from Be'lal while he cradles the branch and rocks back and forth slowly on the ground and talks to it. Then he turns around and bolts as fast as he can away)

Rahvin: BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!

(By the third step, Rahvin thought he heard something coming towards him as he ran. "Never Over!" He didn't have time to make out the words so he kept running. Then he heard it again, closer. "Never Over!" He was sure he heard something that time, but he knew the explosion from that entire case of dynamite wrapped with Nitro-glycerin would not be good to be anywhere near. Then he heard it again. "Never Over! Never Over! Never Over!")

Rahvin: No! Not-

(Padan Fain collides with Rahvin, knocking Rahvin over)

Padan Fain: NEVER OVER! HAHAHAAAAA! NEVER OVER!

Rahvin: Oh shi-

(Back at camp)

(Lanfear nearly fell to her feet as a humongous thunderclap-like explosion rang in her ears. Aginor barely bit back a curse as he turned to look toward the source of the sound. Mesaana, from the other side of the island, looked up from where she was looking under rocks for books to stare toward the source of the sound. Semirhage and Sammael both stopped their argument over whether Illian was the name of a greek god to look towards that huge explosion. Demandred's memories of that horrible night in Tom's room were shattered as the sound crashed home and he sank to his knees with the pain. The sound of Asmodean's harp was swallowed up in the overwhelming sound of the explosion and Asmodean stared in wonder towards the explosion's source in the center of the island. Balthamel looked up from where he was tending to the fire as it blew out and the sound exploded in his ears. All the Forsaken were thinking the same thing: Wtf just happened)

Lanfear: What was that?

Aginor: Eh, probably a squirrel.

(Out of curiosity, all the Forsaken make their way towards the center of the island and all arrive at the same time. They stare in astonishment as they look down into a half a mile wide crater in the earth that still had columns of smoke rising from them. Trees nearby the crater were on fire yet none of the Forsaken seemed to notice because of the shock of the sight before them)

Semirhage: I would've loved to see this happen, heh.

Aginor: Actually, judging by the size of this crater, if you were close enough to see what caused this, you'd be dead right now.

(Semirhage mimics Aginor's lecture silently with a grimace)

Lanfear: Wait a second, where's Rahvin?

Demandred: Padan Fain isn't here either, you think they caused this?

Sammael: Guess I have to start talking. This story will grow quite boring if only the remainder of us are left to be funny.

Mesaana: Well if they are anywhere on this island, they would have heard this explosion, and most likely would be drawn to it as we were. This may exclude Padan Fain because he's a psychotic weasel, but Rahvin would surely be here.

Demandred: "Hate Lews Therin" club, HUDDLE!

(Demandred and Aginor huddle up)

Demandred: (Whispering) I think this is the work of Lews Therin, he's known to blow things up. This has his name written all over it… (Normal voice) Damnit Sammael! Stop writing his name in the dirt and come huddle up!

(Sammael stops writing "Lews Therin" in the crater and runs over to join the huddle)

Demandred: As I was saying… I think Lews Therin had a hand in this.

Aginor: That's ridiculous! He's not even on the island, now you're just paranoid.

Demandred: Silence! –Great Lord I'm turing into Shaidar Haran. Anyways I'm just saying it's possible.

Aginor: No, no it really isn't possible.

Sammael: Illian is MINE!

Demandred: Hey I thought you agreed to speak normally.

(Sammael tilts his head in apprehension and looks confused)

Sammael: Illian?

(Aginor just shakes his head)

Aginor: Great, now he's an idiot AND has amnesia.

Lanfear: Hello? We women want to know what's going on here.

(Mesaana is practically dancing with curiosity while Semirhage is clearly indifferent on the matter)

Lanfear: Well, me and Captain Book at least.

(Mesaana stares at Lanfear blankly)

Mesaana: Captain Book? Oh come on you can make up a better nick name than that.

Lanfear: … right so Captain Book and I want to know what you're conspiring about.

Mesaana: Hey!

Demandred: None of your business! Club member information ONLY!

(Demandred sticks his tongue out at Lanfear)

Lanfear: Well in that case I'm making a "Love Lews Therin" club!

Demandred: Ha, you and who else is in it?

Lanfear: Captain Book and me are in it isn't that right, Booky?

Mesaana: I don't know…

Lanfear: You can write things in a book if you want.

Mesaana: Really? (glee) Then alright!

Aginor: Wow you guys got quite a club there.

Lanfear: And yours is much better? Yours consists of a mad-scientist, a paranoid guy with a grudge, a city hungry maniac, and a crazed weasel, if he's even alive.

Demandred: Hey well at least we outnumber you! You BAD club you!

Lanfear: We'll see whose club is better! Come on Booky, we're going to THAT side of the island.

(Lanfear and Booky, err… Mesaana stalk off)

Semirhage: To make this fair I'm going with them, you guys are no fun anyways.

(Semirhage runs to catch up with Lanfear and Mesaana)

Demandred: Fine! We don't need you! Our club will PWNZOR OBLE DEE OWN YOURS! Come on club!

(Demandred, Sammael, and Aginor stalk off in the opposite direction of the "Love Lews Therin" club. Asmodean and Balthamel just stand there looking at each other)

Asmodean: Hey Balthy, wanna play a game?

(Balthamel picks up a flaming branch)

Asmodean: … oh come on.

(Asmodean runs away screaming as Balthamel chases him with the flaming branch)


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews guys; I'm glad you all like it so far. The chaos is still only just beginning, so I hope you like this next chapter! As usual reviews are greatly appreciated

Previously on Survivor: Nae'blis 

The Forsaken fight a lot more because they did imitations of each other, Padan Fain joins the group to the Chosen's displeasure. Demandred founds the "Hate Lews Therin" club, and Lanfear creates the "Love Lews Therin" club in response. Callandor breaks and Be'lal goes mad, he finds Rahvin in the forest and detonates dynamite and Nitro-glycerin after Padan Fain collides into Rahvin while screaming "NEVER OVER!". The Forsaken are split, and Asmodean is again on the run from a flaming object…

(2 hours later at the original campsite, now known as the "Hate Tribe", Shaidar Haran steps out of a black gateway.)

Shaidar Haran: Chosen, it is time for your next…

(Shaidar Haran looks at Aginor, Demandred, and Sammael)

Shaidar Haran: … where are the others?

Demandred: Oh, you mean the "Love Lews Therin" club? They went to the other side of the island to be failures. We broke into tribes.

Shaidar Haran: "Love Lews Therin club"? What do you bloody mean you "broke into tribes", I make your TRIBES! You can't split up because you can't work together, you 13 are known for your lack of trust and failure to cooperate! Watching you try is what makes my job fun!

Demandred: Well sorry to burst your bubble bud, but we're now part of the "Hate Lews Therin" club, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Shaidar Haran: I've had it up to HERE with you Demandred! (Holds hand above his head)

Aginor: Calm down Mr. "Hand of the Dark". Why don't you "hand" me a beer from that cooler and give me a "hand" opening it.

(Shaidar Haran starts stammering and trying to say something while his pasty pale face begins growing redder and redder)

Demandred: Yea S.H., how bout you bug off, we're busy being cool here.

(Demandred, Sammael, and Aginor open up beers and hold them up in a toast)

Sammael: To Illian!

Demandred: And to the death of al'Thor!

(All Forsaken shout in agreement and clang beers together, then take a big gulp of Sammael Adams, always a good choice. Shaidar Haran stares in disbelief at the obvious lack of respect. He should just send them all to Tom's room now, but if he did that too often, the Great Lord would surely be ticked off. He wasn't supposed to abuse his powers. Instead of lashing out at these spines, he decides to check up on the "Love Tribe". Shaidar Haran shakes his head and steps back into the black gateway. He closes that one and opens another to the other side of the island, where he sees Mesaana lounging in the sand reading a book, Lanfear fixing her hair in a mirror, and Semirhage torturing an crab with a stick)

Shaidar Haran: Just what has happened here? You decided to SPLIT the tribe?

Semirhage: (While still poking the crab) yyyyyyyyyyyyyep…

Lanfear: Bout the size of it, S.H.

Shaidar Haran: For the love of the Great Lord, why does everyone call me S.H.?

Lanfear: Cuz you're a bitch.

(Shaidar Haran's dace grew darker than it ever had, he would not stand for this. These _Chosen_ dared defy him? He was Hand of the Dark! They would be taught respect if it was the last thing he did! The only problem was that he needed the Great Lord's permission to exert any punishment on the Chosen in this game. The time he sent Demandred to Tom's room is not necessarily a punishment as much as it was annoying and terrifying, so it was within the confines of his power. But there was definite need for a meeting with his master. Shaidar Haran did not respond to Lanfear's comment, he merely stepped through the gateway and appeared in the Pit of Doom, letting the gateway close)

Shai'tan: SHAIDAR HARAN. HAS NAE'BLIS BEEN CHOSEN YET?

(The voice boomed and filled the entire cavern. To any mortal it would have brought them to their knees in pain, but Shaidar Haran was not a mere mortal)

Shaidar Haran: No Great Lord, in fact… a lot of unexpected things have occurred…

(Shaidar Haran explains about everything that's happened so far, including the tribe splitting and the Chosen's disrespect)

Shai'tan: What do you mean they broke into tribes? (Shai'tan squeaked) Err… I mean: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY BROKE INTO TRIBES? HOW DARE THEY DISRESPECT MY HAND OF THE DARK? WHAT ABOUT MY PRIZED CHOSEN, ISHAMAEL, WHY HASN'T HE KEPT THEM IN LINE AS HE ALWAYS DOES?

Shaidar Haran: He uh… he kind of went mad again and swam over the horizon… I'm not quite sure where he is now.

Shai'tan: CREATOR DAMNIT! HE TENDS TO GO MAD QUITE A BIT LATELY… WELL HE'S DOING NO GOOD TO ME OR THE OTHERS SWIMMING AROUND THE WORLD. FIND HIM SHAIDAR HARAN, AND BRING HIM BACK TO THE ISLAND NO MATTER WHAT. AS FOR THE CHOSEN'S DISRESPECT…

(Shaidar Haran's malicious smile widened as the Dark One spoke)

(Back on the island…)

Mesaana: So Lanfear, I was thinking about writing…

(Suddenly blackened fire begins falling from the sky, winds gust at 140 mph, and thunder roars across the sky as lightning rains. All the Forsaken scream at scatter on the beach in different directions while dodging bolts)

Shaidar Haran: HAHAHA! BURN! BURN! REMEMBER, AND KNOW THE PRICE OF OPPOSING SHAI'TAN!

(Shaidar Haran cackles madly while holding his hands in the air amidst the chaos)

(5 minutes later at the "Hate Tribe"…)

Demandred: Very insightful of you Sammael. So, in theory, this man from Nantucket…

(Suddenly tornados appear and begin hurling sand everywhere, while rabid weasels rain from the sky and latch onto the Forsaken)

Demandred: Great Lord, it's eating out the back of my eyes!

Aginor: This is why I prefer Trollocs!

Sammael: Illian is MINE!

(Shaidar Haran floats in the air above the chaos while doing his favorite cackle)

Shaidar Haran: YES MY PETS! BITE THEM UNTIL IT BURNS! MAKE THEM PAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Asmodean runs out of the forest with Balthamel right behind him)

Asmodean: Guy's you gotta help me! He is gonna…

(Asmodean trails off and looks with wide eyes at the chaos. Balthamel runs up to Asmodean, then slows down and stands at his side, letting the flaming branch drop from his hand. They both stare at the chaotic scene a moment, then look at each other. Suddenly a weasel latches onto Asmodean's face)

Asmodean: OH, GREAT LORD! IT HURTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(3 more weasels latch onto Asmodean's face and he collapses backwards. Balthamel takes off running as a tornado chases after him.)

Shaidar Haran: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(10 minutes later)

(Demandred, Aginor, Sammael, Lanfear, Mesaana, and Semirhage, Asmodean, and Balthamel are all sitting down in the sand with Shaidar Haran standing over them, looking down at them impassively. All the Forsaken have bruises and cuts all over their body. Bits of Mesaana's hair still singes with a small flame, Asmodean has scratch marks all over his face, and Lanfear looks like she got into a fight with a vacuum cleaner and lost)

Shaidar Haran: Now, Chosen, who is your daddy?

(The Forsaken grumble something incoherent)

Shaidar Haran: Now I can't hear you. Answer me when I ask you a question. Who is your daddy?

All Forsaken: You are…

Shaidar Haran: And when daddy commands, what do you do?

All Forsaken: We obey…

Shaidar Haran: Good, now you may have your little "tribes", it will actually be fun to see how this turns out. Be forewarned that when there are a total of 6 of you left, you will remerge into one group. Now there is the matter of Asmodean and Balthamel. To decide who goes on which team…

Aginor: Dibs on Balthamel!

Shaidar Haran: … ok that settles that.

(Balthamel walks over to "Hate Tribe" and pounds fists with Aginor)

Shaidar Haran: Then Asmodean is part of the "Love Tribe".

Asmodean: Awww… cmon! You guys will regret not choosing me! We're gonna-

(Balthamel quickly steps forward and Asmodean leaps backward into Semirhage's arms. Semirhage just looks at him and he smiles back nervously)

Asmodean: You know you have _beautiful_ eyes…

(Semirhage drops Asmodean and crosses her arms beneath her breasts with a scowl)

Shaidar Haran: It is time for your next challenge, Chosen. Since you are two tribes now, you will compete against each other. The losing tribe will be the ones voting one of their own out tonight. Come with me, I will bring you to your challenge area.

(Shaidar Haran leads the Forsaken through the jungle)

Demandred: Couldn't you just… gateway us there?

(Shaidar Haran stops walking and pauses a moment in thought)

Shaidar Haran: Just for that, we're going to continue walking.

Homer Simpson: Doh!

(All Forsaken turn toward Homer. He just stares back at them with wide eyes, and then slowly walks away backwards. The Forsaken continue staring until he disappears in the bushes)

Shaidar Haran: (shakes head) I hate when that happens.

Demandred: Who was-

Shaidar Haran: Silence!

(The Forsaken continue following Shaidar Haran until they reach the challenge arena. It is a large circular hole in the ground that's filled with water and has a waterfall flowing into it. Across the hole is a wooden bridge that doesn't look too stable)

Shaidar Haran: The purpose of this activity is simple: Knock all members of the opposing tribe off the bridge and be the last tribe with members on the bridge.

Lanfear: You're going down Demandred!

Demandred: Not before I see you on the bottom of that pool!

Mesaana: I am armed with infinite knowledge, there's no way I can lose.

Aginor: On the contrary, I am the master of information. And as sure as I have a fetish with Trollocs, you're going down.

(The Forsaken take their places on their respective sides of the bridge)

Shaidar Haran: BEGIN!

Asmodean: We're gonna-

(Lanfear pushes Asmodean off the bridge)

Asmodean: Traaaaaaaaitor!

(Asmodean plunges into the water)

Demandred: Getting a bit shaky isn't it?

(Demandred begins shaking the bridge)

Lanfear: You know you'll only end up sinking yourself, Demandred. You always-

Sammael: ILLIAN!

(Sammael crashes into Lanfear and tackles her off the bridge. Asmodean emerges from under the water)

Asmodean: When I get my hands on-

(Sammael and Lanfear land on Asmodean, sending him back under the water)

Lanfear: Damnit! Why do I always get tackled into things?

Semirhage: Who wants some?

(Semirhage cracks her knuckles. Aginor and Balthamel take a step backward and get behind Demandred)

Demandred: Fine I'll take the too-tall-for-a-woman sadist.

(Semirhage's eyes smoldered dangerously and slowly walked toward Demandred)

Demandred: Uh… on second thought, hows about you take her Aggy, you're always boasting about your strength in the One Power.

Aginor: Yea exactly, in the One Power. I'm just an old man physically!

Balthamel: ………

Demandred: Great idea Balthamel, let's try it!

(Demandred, Aginor, and Balthamel line the bridge side to side and face down Semirhage. Mesaana is behind Semirhage with a notebook out writing furiously)

Demandred and Aginor: Get her!

(Demandred and Aginor lunge at Semirhage who does a matrix style jump in the air and kicks Demandred in the side of the head, while elbowing Aginor in the gut with her opposite arm. Semirhage lands serenely back on the bridge and Demandred and Aginor fall off the bridge on either side and plunge into the water. Semirhage strikes a martial-arts pose and faces down Balthamel)

Semirhage: Face me coward!

(Balthamel strikes a similar pose and then both of them leap into the air at each other. While suspended in mid-air above the bridge, the two of them exchange punch for punch, kick for kick DBZ style for all you who want a better picture. They both back-flip back to their starting spots and land in another pose. The Forsaken from the pool below stare in awe as these 2 Forsaken get ready for round two. Mesaana is still writing in her notebook even faster than before. Smoke is seen rising from the book from all the friction. Shaidar Haran has a big smile on his face as he watches the onslaught. Balthamel and Semirhage launch into another full out assault, dodging under each others kicks to return a punch, which was only blocked and responded to by another kick. Suddenly Balthamel was caught off guard and was sent tumbling back on his side of the bridge)

Semirhage: So Balthamel, what are you gonna do now?

Mesaana: According to my calculations, Balthamel, you have exactly a 3 chance of winning.

Aginor: (Distant voice) 5…

(Shaidar Haran leaned forward intently and all the Forsaken in the water held their breath, Asmodean most of all because he was still under the water trying to swim to the top. Balthamel stood up slowly and turned to look toward Semirhage. Suddenly he shrugged, produced scissors from his cloak, and sniped the ropes that bound the bridge. The bridge collapsed and sent Mesaana, Semirhage, and Balthamel falling into the pool of water at the same time. Semirhage swam to the surface with a angry look on her face)

Semirhage: That's not fair Shaidar Haran! He can't destroy the bridge!

(Shaidar Haran truly looked confused for a while as he thought)

Shaidar Haran: Well… I didn't say he COULDN'T destroy the bridge… (Whisper) didn't think any one would be stupid enough to do that…

Semirhage: Oh, for the love of the Great Lord…

Shaidar Haran: It is decided! Because I did not elaborate exactly on the rules, no one goes to the Council of Fate tonight. Tomorrow is another thing entirely, and there will be no more ties. NOW GO BACK TO CAMP BEFORE I EAT YOUR ORGANS!

(All the Forsaken splash out of the water, each dunking Asmodean as they pass him to get out)

(The Forsaken arrive at camp and get some fruit and cookies from the food pile. The Hate and Love tribes camp in the same area against their own wishes. Shaidar Haran told them if they made him gateway to two separate campsites each time he wished to speak with them, that he would most definitely punish them again)

Demandred: Good thinking back there, Balthamel. You showed Ms. Calculates-a-lot who knows what about winning.

Mesaana: Oh, haha. How was I supposed to know he'd kamikaze us?

Aginor: If you were smart you would've thought of the possibility, but you decided to be anti-smart and it cost you the win.

Semirhage: Excuse me Aginor? Speaking of smart moves, what the hell were you thinking when you and Demandred lunged at me? What kind of a tactic is that?

Aginor: (Shrugs) I dunno, Balthamel told us to do it.

Semirhage: Balthamel… _told_ you to do it…? You mean he spoke?

Aginor: Well… not _speak_ per-say, but he _communicated_ me his idea.

Lanfear: Yea you're as mad as Ishamael ever was, Aggy.

Aginor: How dare you compare me to that man? I am more brilliant than he will ever be!

Mesaana: Speaking of Ishamael I wonder where he is?

(The Forsaken all lay down by the campfire and they only have to knock Sammael unconscious once before they fully slept. The next morning they all wake up to find and find that their food is missing)

Demandred: Oh, this is just great. How is our food gone? We had an entire pile last night.

Sammael: _Tsag_!

(Meanwhile in the Pit of Doom)

Shai'tan: WELL MY HAND OF THE DARK, HAVE YOU FOUND HIM?

Shaidar Haran: Umm… yes and no… You see I found him, but there's one minor problem…

(Back at camp)

(The Forsaken see a man with hair as black as the night and a coat even blacker than that. His eyes were like blue sapphires that seemed to cool the campsite while casting heat at the same time. The clearly dangerous man stepped up to the others with his grim face dark with hatred. All the Forsaken braced themselves for a fight, when suddenly…)

Evil Guy: Hi!

(All the Forsaken were caught off balance by the cheeriness the man suddenly displayed)

Evil Guy: Wacha all up to?

Demandred: Who… who are you?

(The man's happy face twisted to rage and he shouted back at Demandred)

Moridin: FOOLS! I AM MORIDIN! I AM THE DARK ONE!

Lanfear: …Ishamael?

(Moridin's face went utterly blank for a moment, then was replaced by a bright smile as he turned toward Lanfear)

Moridin: My dear, yes that is what I used to be called. Moridin is my name now.

(The Forsaken were again startled by the quick changes in Moridin's mood)

Demandred: You look… different Ishy…

(Moridin snarled in blind rage at Demandred)

Moridin: FOOL! I AM MORIDIN! I AM ISHAMAEL NO LONGER! … I kinda died…

All other Forsaken: You died? HOW?

(Moridin's voice took on a calm and steady tone)

Moridin: Let's just say I did some things that I'm not very proud of…

(Flashes back quickly to Ishamael running to the top of a hill over looking the farm where the Black Tower is located. Hundreds of Asha'man are in the middle of training)

Ishamael: FOOLISH WORMS! BOW DOWN TO ME! I AM THE DARK ONE! YOUR ONLY SALVATION IS SERVING ME!

(Thousands of lightning bolts strike Ishamael through the chest)

(Returns from flashback)

Aginor: Well what did you-

Moridin: I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT OK?


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for being patient all, here is your long awaited chapter 4. A lot of things have been going on in my life and I couldn't find time to continue, but here it is. Without further adue, here's the one and only Chapter 4!

**Previously on Survivor: Nae'blis**

Shaidar Haran thrashes the Forsaken for splitting into tribes, Asmodean and Balthamel join the Hate Tribe, The Forsaken take another challenge with yields no winners, so no one gets voted off, the Forsaken have no idea where their food went, and suddenly Ishamael has returned in a new body as Moridin.

Demandred: Seems you really outdid yourself this time Ish… "Moridin".

Aginor: Yea, you SURE showed them Asha'man how powerful the "Forsaken" are Mr. Death…

Moridin: Yea, I'm gonna tell you now that I do not like you one bit… I'm only here to claim the title of Nae'blis so I can force you all to dance when I say "dance" and balefire when I say "balefire".

Lanfear: Oh, don't worry Morry buddy… hehe… Morry… anyway don't worry Moridin, you won't be Nae'blis, you already failed at life once, and the Great Lord doesn't take kindly to failure.

Asmodean: Yea you're a FAILURE!

Moridin: And when was the last time you contributed to the Shadow, Asmodean?

(Asmodean scoffs)

Asmodean: When was the last time I contributed to the shadow… pfft… what a stupid question. You remember that time when… or that time… SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU SILENCE!

Shaidar Haran: That's MY line!

(Demandred leaps 5 feet in the air and lands on his ass)

Demandred: OK! THAT'S IT!

(Demandred gets up and walks over to Shaidar Haran and ties a necklace to his neck with a bell on it)

Demandred: Now you'll NEVER sneak up on me again!

(Shaidar Haran looks down at the bell with a puzzled look and jingles it)

Shaidar Haran: I look like a cat with this thing on… is this really necessary?

Demandred: Absolutely…

(Shaidar Haran shrugs)

Shaidar Haran: It's a fashion statement I guess.

Lanfear: Sure it is…

Shaidar Haran: Silence! I have come here to announce that Moridin will be joining the Hate Tribe due to obvious reasons.

Moridin: Straight trippin yo-

Shaidar Haran: You're not ghetto; if you say that again I will personally kill you.

Moridin: Right then.

Shaidar Haran: You have the rest of the day to yourselves, Chosen. Tomorrow bright and early you will have your next challenge, and I promise it will be more complex than knocking each other off a bridge.

(With a malicious laugh, Shaidar Haran opens a black gateway and steps through, letting it wink out)

Aginor: Well then, we have a whole day to ourselves… what do you all want to do?

(Sammael raises his hand)

Aginor: We're not searching for Illian.

(Sammael lowers his hand)

Aginor: Anyone else?

(Mesaana half raises her hand before Aginor cuts in)

Aginor: Nor are we building a library!

(Mesaana lowers her hand with a pout)

Aginor: Great Lord, is that all you two ever think about? Books and Illian?

Sammael and Mesaana: Naw…

(They both look at each other)

Sammael and Mesaana: Yea…

Aginor: You two are not Nae'blis material! You could never be the Great Lord's Regent on Earth. I, on the other hand, would make an excellent Nae'blis. I am more powerful than all of you… (Moridin coughs) …with the exception of Mr. Death here, I have a better head on my shoulders than most of you, and I can think logically.

Demandred: You sure you're gonna live long enough to BE Nae'blis, old man?

Aginor: And just WHAT is that suppose to mean my simple minded colleague…?

Demandred: Let's face it Aggy, you're not exactly the youngest looking guy around, how much longer do you think you actually have?

Aginor: Simpleton! I have immortality like the rest of you; I have eternity to rule as Nae'blis! Secondly, you're just as old as me. I just got the short end of the stick cuz I was sealed closer to the surface than you two, me and Balthamel both that is.

(Balthamel sighs)

Aginor: In fact, I believe it was you, Demandred, who tricked me into going to see what all that "commotion" was up on the slopes. "Aginor old buddy, be useful and see what all those shouts are will ya? Dangerous you say? Naw… those shouts of 'Death to the Forsaken' and 'The Dragon wills it!' couldn't possibly mean trouble. I'm sure it's just a squirrel." A squirrel Demandred? Why in hell would there EVER be a squirrel on the slopes of Shayol Ghul?

(Demandred shrugs)

Demandred: Hey it could happen.

(Aginor slumps his shoulders and sighs)

Demandred: Hey now I may have caused you to go check it out, but you're the one who dragged poor Balthamel with you and made him walk in front of you. Oh, you're a great Nae'blis alright. Hiding behind others because there may be danger sure is a brave quality.

(Balthamel thinks a moment, then turns to Aginor and writes "Dude, wtf?" in the sand)

Aginor: Come on Balthamel, had I known there would be danger you know I wouldn't have taken you with me…

Sammael: And "Death to the Forsaken" isn't hinting at danger…?

Aginor: You stay out of this, you! Go back to Illian or something!

Sammael: Oh no you didn't…

Lanfear: PLEASE, children, calm down lets just settle down a bit.

(Sammael, Aginor, and Demandred take a deep breath)

Lanfear: Good, now just because Aginor has bad judgment…

Aginor: Woah who's to say I have bad judgment?

Semirhage: Cmon Aginor there's no denying your crappy judgment.

Aginor: What is this? Who said you could join this conversation, why are you all picking on me?

Demandred: Aginor a squirrel has better judgment-

Aginor: There you go again with your damn squirrels! Your squirrels cause death!

Sammael: (mumbles) Hungry mists cause death…

Semirhage: I CAUSE DEATH!

Moridin: I AM DEATH!

(All the Forsaken start tackling each other and rolling down the beach screaming and pulling hair. After about 5 minutes Moridin rolls away from the fight and stands up)

Moridin: I COMMAND THEE TO CEASE FIGHTING!

(All the Forsaken stop where they are and look over at Moridin)

Moridin: You are all acting like children! Is this how you plan to deal with your problems? By fighting like a 5th grade bully? You all make me sick. I remember little of my past life, but from what I remember, I ALWAYS KEPT YOU ALL IN LINE!

(Continues with graduation theme music in background)

Without me guiding you, you would all most likely be long dead. You Mesaana, where would you be today if I had never taught you how to read? And you, Demandred, where would you be today if I had never helped you get your high position among the forces of the Light before our betrayal? Lanfear you know you're life would be different had I not suggested you go talk to Lews Therin at that high school dance 3036 years ago. Semirhage, what would become of you if I never dared you to beat that kid relentlessly with a wooden chicken for three days? You would certainly be different than you are today. And you Sammael…

(Sammael waits expectantly)

Moridin: …Anyway, the point is I've helped each and every one of you become the people you are today. You owe your SOULS TO ME!

(Moridin coughs and clears his throat)

Moridin: Sorry about that, my ambition usually speaks for me when I talk about debts… Anyway, can't you all see that-

(Sammael hits Moridin in the head with a shoe)

Moridin: FOOLISH WORM! PREPARE TO FEEL MY WRATH!

(Moridin tackles Sammael to the ground and the fight begins again)

(Several hours later)

(All the Forsaken are sprawled on the beach with even dirtier clothes than they started with. Most are still catching their breath)

Aginor: Well… that… was… fun…

Demandred: Yea… except for… the part where Semirhage… found that needle…

Sammael: Il...Illi… aww forget it…

Moridin: Ok… perhaps we should put our differences aside for a bit. I don't think I could survive another fight like that.

Lanfear: Wouldn't want ya to die again so soon Moridin, you just got here. It would be a shame if you left so soon…

(Moridin glares at Lanfear)

Mesaana: I have an idea!

Aginor: We're STILL not building a library!

(Mesaana pouts)

Mesaana: Why do you always shoot down my ideas? You're not the teacher here Aginor, I am!

Aginor: Actually in what's now known as the Age of Legends, I was an excellent teacher-

Mesaana: You taught smart stuff like biology, you never dealt with the public. You have bad social skills. I on the other hand spoke to the children of our time and enlightened them on a level they could understand. You just talked about molecules and atoms.

Aginor: You clearly know not of the complexities of biochemistry. Why, at age 20-

Demandred: OK! I can safely say no one here wants to hear you give another lecture of your life history. Why don't we try something that TEACHERS used to do back in the day? Everyone sit around in a circle.

(The 9 Forsaken sit in a circle in the sand. It is approaching nightfall, and the evening sun sits on the horizon)

Demandred: Ok, this is how it works. We will take turns going around the circle and each person will tell one thing they dislike and one thing they like about someone else. This way we can see what angers us and how to avoid it in the future. To prevent interruption during turns, ONLY the person holding THIS stuffed monkey can speak! (Demandred holds up a stuffed monkey that squeaks when you squeeze it)

(The Forsaken agree to this and for once it seems that they will work out their issues and work together. Fortunately for the sake of humor, I'm the author and that won't happen)

Demandred: Ok, how about Moridin starts because he's the newest one of us here.

Moridin: Technically I'm the oldest member…

Demandred: Hey, hey, do you have the monkey yet? I didn't think so. Here you go, now you may talk.

(Demandred hands Moridin the monkey)

Moridin: Very well then. I choose Aginor.

Demandred: You can begin whenever you're ready-

Moridin: OMFG I HATE YOU AGINOR! YOU FILTHY WEED-RIDDEN SPINE! YOU ALLLLLLLLLWAYS COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING ALMOST AS STRONG AS ME AND YOU SEEM TO THINK YOU'RE IN CHARGE 24/7! YOU WILL KNOW MY POWER YET! KNEEL BEFORE ME AND KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF POWER!

Demandred: First of all, only the Great Lord can speak in only caps and second, Moridin, I don't think you understand-

Moridin: AND YOU DEMANDRED! YOU FOOLISH WORM! I WILL YANK YOUR CHILDREN OUT THROUGH YOUR SPLEEN! YOU'VE HIDDEN WITH THE SEANCHAN FOR THE ENTIRE BOOK SERIES-

All Forsaken: Book series?

Moridin: -AND YOU MADE ABOUT 5 MILLION LOYAL FANS THINK YOU WERE MAZRIM TAIM UNTIL ROBERT JORDAN FINALLY PUT AN END TO THE THOUGHT AT A BOOK SIGNING-

Aginor: There's that Robert guy again-

Moridin: -YOU SHUT YOUR FACE AGINOR, I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU! YOU SNIVELING MOCKERY OF A CHOSEN, YOU DISGRACE US ALL WITH YOUR LACK OF COMPETANCE AND YOUR CONSTANT NAGGING! YOU WOULD MAKE A BETTER NANNY THAN A CHOSEN! AND SECONDLY… OMFG CLOWN!

(Moridin points and all the Forsaken turn around to see a clown tiptoeing away as quietly as it can)

Asmodean: You? No!

(It notices them looking at it and it throws its head back and shrieks. The Forsaken get up and chase the clown down the beach. The Forsaken slowly close the gap between them and the clown and it seems obvious that the clown is as good as captured. Suddenly the clown's arteries explode and it self-destructs, throwing the Forsaken backward in a gust of wind. They sit up and form a circle again)

Demandred: So where were we?

Moridin: I believe I was ranting and raving about my issues.

Demandred: Ah yes, continue.

Moridin: FOOLS!

(Moridin continues his verbal assault on Aginor and then proceeds to each of the Chosen. He manages to point out things that even Robert Jordan didn't know about the Chosen and ends up wasting a lot of time. After another hour Moridin is done with his grilling of his companions and calmly passes the stuffed monkey to Balthamel)

Moridin: Here ya go Balthy, your turn to speak.

(Balthamel picks up a flaming log)

Demandred: Hey now let's not start this again, I say we stop this game because clearly we've made no progress. In fact I think we've backtracked and was better off without this game.

Sammael: You can say that again.

Demandred: … ok: Hey now let's not start this again, I say we stop this game because clearly we've made no progress. In fact I think we've backtracked and was better off without this game.

Lanfear: You actually said it again? Who does that?

Demandred: What can I say? I'm a pleaser.

Semirhage: In more ways than one…

Demandred: Hey! I told you never to mention that again!

Moridin: Great Lord that's horrible, please tell me you're joking Demandred.

Demandred: Yes, yes it's a joke, she's joking, right Semirhage? You're joking?

(Demandred makes a "I will kill you if you don't agree" signal with his hand)

Semirhage: Yea… joking…

(Semirhage winks at Demandred)

Demandred: Sigh…

Rahvin: That's just terrible, not even I sleep with other Chosen…

(All the Forsaken leap at Rahvin's sudden arrival)

Aginor: Wtf, aren't you dead?

(Rahvin looks at Aginor confusedly)

Rahvin: Why would I be dead?

Mesaana: But the explosion… surely you couldn't survive that.

Rahvin: Oh that. Yea, when Padan Fat-head decided to collide with me and we fell down I figured we were done for. Luckily for us, a half-leprechaun half-Myrddraal hybrid child froze time seconds before the explosion and offered us protection in return for our souls upon death. Obviously we agreed so he protected us from the explosion then disappeared. Won't he be angry when he finds out that I already gave my soul to the Great Lord an uber long time ago and that Psycho Weasel doesn't even have a soul to give?

Lanfear: Wait, you mean Padan Fain is still alive too? Where is he?

(Suddenly Padan Fain burrows up from under the sand)

Padan Fain: It's a me! Padanio! Hello!

(Padan Fain hobbles over by Rahvin)

Rahvin: Since the explosion he's suddenly become my pet. He just listens to me for some reason.

Demandred: That's an interesting story of how you survived, but where have you been all this time?

Rahvin: Over there

(Rahvin points to his sand castle with "Caemlyn" carved in the side)

Demandred: …how come we never noticed him over there?

(Asmodean raises his hand)

Asmodean: I noticed-

Demandred: Oh you don't count, Asmodean.

(Asmodean lowers his head in silent agreement)

Moridin: You people never notice anything. Why, just now while you were talking to Rahvin I've managed to steal your pants and use them to fuel the fire I've just built.

Demandred: That's ridiculous, my pants are-

(Demandred looks down to find himself in his boxers and see his pants smoldering on a newly built fire. Demandred just stares at Moridin)

Demandred: …Why would you do that…?

(Moridin shrugs)

Moridin: I thought it'd be interesting.

Aginor: How did you get food though?

Rahvin: Oh, Sammael has been throwing the food he hoarded the night after your challenge at me for the past day.

Demandred: How come we didn't notice Sammael doing that this entire time? In fact he's doing it now.

(All the Forsaken watch as Sammael sits in his "Illian" sand castle and throw their stolen food at the empty "Caemlyn" sand castle while shouting "ILLIAN IS MINE!")

Rahvin: You know, for the 13 most powerful Aes Sedai of our time, we're not very bright.

Demandred: Aint that the truth.

Moridin and Aginor: Waddya mean 'we'?

(Moridin and Aginor glare at one another)

Aginor: It's you morons that lack intelligence; leave me out of your collective stupidity.

Moridin: Aginor, you didn't see Rahvin either so don't try to excuse yourself. He's the first thing I noticed upon arriving. I just assumed you all knew he was there and were ignoring him. Boy, I shoulda known better. Maybe you all need to get new bodies too. They might contain a smarter brain.

Lanfear: Well I'm sorry that we don't attract death like you do, Mr. Death.

Moridin: At least we can attract something…

(Lanfear's eyes narrow)

Lanfear: What's that supposed to mean?

Moridin: Cmon Lanfear, you've been trying to attract Lews Therin's attension for what? 3,000 years now? One would think you'd get the picture sooner or later. You were turned down by a sheepherder for Creator's sake.

Lanfear: Keep it up, Moridin…

Moridin: Can't you see that he doesn't want you? He's turned you down so many times that most people would move on. But you're not most people are you Ms. Daughter of the Night?

Lanfear: That's it! Just for that…

(Lanfear smacks Asmodean)

Asmodean: Wtf, what did I do to deserve that?

Moridin: Let's face it Lanfear, you lost your charm. Now only poor hobos and Rahvin would take you.

Rahvin: Hey I resent that.

(Rahvin checks his hair in a mirror real quick)

Lanfear: You just don't know when to stop do you, Moridin?

(Lanfear smacks Asmodean again)

Asmodean: OK WTF? I'm leaving!

(Asmodean gets up and walks off 50 feet and sits under a tree with his C'D pla'yer)

Aginor: Look what you've done guys. You made Asmodean go away sad.

(Aginor picks up 2 beers and hands one to each of them)

Aginor: Keep up the good work and have a drink.

(The Forsaken all cheer in agreement and get themselves a Sammael Adams, all except Asmodean who is excluded, and Sammael who continues his barrage of food on Rahvin's sandcastle)

(We now take a short trip into the corners of Sammael's mind. Sammael used to be a normal man, a brilliant general in the Age of Legends. How did Sammael's obsession with Illian come about you ask? Well let's look at the facts first. Sammael has always been jealous of Lews Therin's accomplishments, no matter how small or how great. It was the sole factor for him to turn to the Shadow: to defeat Lews Therin himself. Now after being trapped for 3,000 years, it does something to a man. And especially since it was Lews Therin himself who trapped Sammael for all that time. During this great sleep Sammael's nightmares have torn at him day after day, night after night. Defeated on his home ground. Sammael always fought best while defending, and he was defeated on the defense. This sent a crushing blow to Sammael's ego and bolstered his hatred and jealousy of Lews Therin. Now after his awakening, he has immediately established himself in Illian. Illian has become the object of triumph for Sammael. Since Rand al'Thor has taken over many a city, including Caemlyn, and united the Aiel, Illian is the one true possession that Sammael can call his. This is something he has that Lews Therin does not. Sammael holds dearly to Illian, and should he ever lose it… well lets just say he'd make Padan Fain look like a normal person. Now you know the reason for Sammael's crazed attitude towards Illian, and can better appreciate his predicament. He's dealing with it the only way he knows how: Spam his claim until he's blue in the face)

Sammael: ILLIAN IS MINE!

That's all I got for now guys, thanks for being patient with me. As always please read and review! My ego is never too big, so feel free to pump compliments into your reviews lol.


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